Counselling for People-Pleasing
When you're always there for everyone else, but not always there for yourself
Are you the one others always seem to rely on?
The one who listens, supports and steps in to keep things steady and supported for everyone else. You could be seen as the responsible, sensible or caring one with family and friends.
Saying yes might feel natural and normal in response to requests from people, even when part of you wants to say no. You might worry about letting people down, creating tension or not being liked. And over time, this can feel like you're stuck in an exhausting cycle that you can't break free from.
If this resonates, you're welcome to get in touch to arrange a free 20-minute conversation to understand how I can support and whether counselling with me is something you'd like to explore.
People-pleasing can feel like you're always there for others, but less so for yourself.
You may not think of it as people-pleasing. It may feel like you're being supportive, kind or doing what's needed for people. Yet underneath, there can be this pressure or want to keep others happy, avoid conflict or not be too much for others.
And over time, this can mean your own needs, feelings or limits become harder to express or identify beneath the noise of what other people will think or feel.
Where people-pleasing can come from?
People-pleasing often develops for a reason. And this might have been, a way of staying connected, avoiding conflict or feeling accepted by others for you.
It could be that you learned to tune into others' needs early on in life, sometimes before your own. And these patterns can feel normal and make sense for a while.
However, over time, they can begin to feel limiting and exhausting, especially when your own voice feels lost within the voices and needs of others.
How counselling can support with people-pleasing
Counselling with me offers a space where you don't need to be anything for anyone else. It's a space where your feelings, thoughts and needs can be explored without pressure or expectation.
In counselling, you might explore:
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What about saying no or putting yourself first is hard for you
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Where these patterns may have come from
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How you experience feelings such as responsibility, guilt or conflict
And over time, this can begin to support:
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Feeling more connected to your own needs
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Building confidence in expressing yourself
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Developing boundaries that feel right for you
How People-Pleasing Can Show Up
How people-pleasing affects you will be unique to your own experiences, and there are some ways it can often show up in every day life. It might not be obvious at first. You may notice yourself feeling more tired or overwhelmed. You might also find yourself feeling unappreciated or resentful, but unsure what to do with those feelings.
You might find you're:
Finding it hard to say no
Agreeing to do things even when you're feeling stretched or like you don't want to.
Putting the needs of others before your own
Prioritising how others feel, whilst your own needs feel less important or that you can't seem to express what you want.
Worrying about what others think of you
Overthinking about how you come across, or what others think and feel about you. You might feel anxious about being misunderstood or not liked.
Working Together
I offer counselling for people-pleasing in person based in Marlow, as well as online across the UK. My approach to counselling is person-centred. Which means you lead the way in what you want to bring.
It's my role here to sit beside you and really try to understand your world and experiences, and for you to be met with acceptance and curiosity within that. It isn't my role to direct or give advice, but to offer a space where you will be listened to. And it is in this space where people-pleasing can be explored and understood in a way that connects you back to yourself in a more accepting way.
If you'd like to find out what starting counselling with me looks like, you're welcome to find out more: